Der Letzte Kuss
by Fuchsfeuer
Summary: This is a little Songfic I wrote using 'der letzte Kuss' by 'Die Toten Hosen' : Albus Dumbledore receives a letter of his former friend and enemy Gellert Grindelwald, decades after their Duell Gellert finally seems to feel remorse, but is it all the former dark wizard has to say?
1. Prologue

A/N: Okay so this is my first Fanfiction to upload ever! I'm not quite sure if I'm fully content with this, but figured I needed to upload something, since otherwise I would not have followed this through.

So it's a Grindelwald/Dumbledore fanfiction which makes it kind of slashy, although there won't be happening much, since I do not believe that their relationship as overly -how to say it- sensual or romantic. To me it doesn't seem to fit the character of Gellert Grindelwald J.K. Rowling has outlined.

By the way I never saw Gellert as a German before, I always though him to somewhat Scandinavian, but after I read a bunch of Fanfictions in which he was German and I kind of got used to that image and after reading something about fans relating him to WW2 if felt it made sense. So I also saw thI also saw the opportunity since I can work with him being German rather well, since I'm German and I like the Idea of him talking German when something's important to him.

I appologise if there are any major mistakes, be it vocabs or grammar and am thankful for corrections.

So I hope you enjoy reading and please review.

Discaimers: I own nothing, all characters belong to J.K Rowling the song I used is named 'Der letzte Kuss' by ' Die Toten Hosen'

all that belongs to me is the idea for this fandiction

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Prologue

His hands were shaking.

The moment he received the letter, he was all but a small boy looking for comfort, someone to take his hand and squeeze it reassuringly.

But of course there was no one. It was late at night and his bureau was dimly lit. Even Phox was resting his head under his wings and the quiet anyone but him would have found peaceful, lay thickly on his shoulders and kept him from breathing regularly.

One hand grasping for his oaken desk, the other one clawing the paper so hard that in was to crumple he stood there, a faint rushing in his ears, and tried to figure what to do.

By Merlin's beard. And here I stand a man of nearly a hundred years and am afraid to open but a little letter

His knuckles had turned white and he still tried to get his breathing under his control. Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore closed his eyes tried in vain to halt the tears from flowing.

He hadn't even opened the letter yet, but the neatly, though not as fancy writing, announcing the addressor, 'Gellert Grindelwald', had been enough to get his whole world, or in this case his bureau spinning.

He moved cautiously to his chair, never quite letting go of his desk, afraid that his legs would no longer carry him, and let himself fall on said seating.

While taking on last deep breath he opened his eyes and snatched his paper knife. Undoing the folding of the object of his fears and hopes, namely the letter of his former friend and greatest challenge to ever overcome, his eyes began to scan the all too familiar handwriting.

_Dear Albus,_

_To say it didn't take a lot of self-conquest to write this letter, though I admit it is no excuse as to why it took so many years, to finally write you but a few lines, would be an understatement. _

_You see they say with age comes stubbornness, but I am afraid I was no better in the early years of my life as you might have noticed then._

_So I believe it is, no was a matter of pride and believe me when I say that they knocked that out of me by now._

_I don't know why I believe that you would ever keep this letter, after almost half a century, let alone read it, but I thought it time to finally express my apology to you and I hope you'll believe me that I mean every single word I wrote to you. _

_How to begin with I don't know and I am still not sure if this is the right to do way so. But I will try to make you understand as to why I finally wrote this letter._

_Do you know what a radio is, this little marvelous device the Muggles have invented. Oh, at times like this I know I have done them wrong .I always believed them to be worthless, scum that hindered our kind of being as brilliant as it could have been. Oh how wrong I was, and I'm deeply sorry that it took me nearly a hundred years to understand, that we are first of all human, and that something as trivial as being a wizard, a witch, a squip or a Muggle is of no relevance._

_Where was I? Ah right, the radio, you might have seen one by now too, since I'm quite sure that it's not unfamiliar with wizards at all, but of course it took some time for me to see one, up here in my cell in Nurmengrad. _

_Well one of the guards had one with him, and strangely he was listening to some German music. _

_I heard the melody echo, through the whole building. At first I didn't know what to make of it until I saw that little box. The guards laughed at me but let the radio stand near enough for me to hear._

_I swear they are getting soft up here in the North. A decade or so ago they would have beaten me until I could stand no more for merely looking at it. But I can only guess that by now I make such a poor appearance that these youngsters that do not remember my atrocities anymore have begun to pity me._

_Anyway they left the radio with me and I was all too thankful for that. Well one night I woke up, since I had the feeling someone was talking to me, but then I realized it was the radio and that I only had felt addressed since it was again some German 'Band', as they call I by now, performing. I took me sometime to figure that out, I guess Nurmengrad is finally beginning to take its toll in me. It's been such a long time since I heard the words of my mother tongue, but I still remember, though I'm not even sure if I think in German, or dream- you know how its most peculiar how you never quite know in which language you have dreamt_

_Gee, I'm getting lost again._

_I listened to the song and it was most peculiar but I felt every single word the vocalist was saying and I began to wonder what you would think of it. So that's the whole story and I know it sounds pathetic, but I knew I had to do this._

_I will lend me the song's words to tell you what this stubborn old senile could not tell you on his own._

_(Also I enclose a translation for I fear you won't have much of a memory of the little German I taught you that fateful summer 1899)_


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Shame on me I've mistspelled Fawkes...well for now I know how to spell his name

I hope you enjoy this chapter, though I'm not as content with this one as I was with the prologue

the chapters will be as short as this, since I have to make something of the verses of the song, I guess I'm gonna write another Gellert x Albus fic that isn't that short... I would really like to write something about the two that isn't too cliché ... well first things first

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Chapter One

'Irgendwann kommt für jeden der Tag ( Eventually for everyone comes the day)

An dem man für Alles bezahlt (on which they have to pay for everything)

Und dann stehen wir da (then we stand there)

Denken wie schön es mal war (thinking of how good it has been once)'

Yes Albus I had to pay and by now I know there was no way around it, it was inevitable as you may call it. And I also know that it was not only that I had to pay with my freedom for this gruesome things I've done, but also with the friendship, the only ever true friendship anyone has so generously offered me. The friendship you offered me on that rainy afternoon in Godric's Hallow and to which offer you stayed true until the fatal day we were to meet again.

You have no idea of how often I wondered what would have happened if your sister had not died, if I would not have been such a coward and not have fled right away, if you could have saved me from myself or if I would have meant disaster for both of us.

But I has been good, to be true to you, the best time of my life. I never have felt that bound to anyone in my life. You see, I have never had a good relationship with my parents and to tell the truth I didn't morn their death at all. I've been growing up with the notion of being alone, but I never truly felt lonely, for I knew, no thought, there was no-one whose company could help me with that feeling.

But I met you and I knew everything was different with you. You were different and I think we felt the same thrill the first time or minds locked.

Today I regret having taken you for granted, just another mean to fulfill my dreams of glory and power, but I am afraid lying to you now would not help any of us.

I truly enjoyed the time with you, because I felt needed, and I know how egoistic that was, since I cannot tell if I really liked you for the person you were then or for the potential I saw in you.

The letters smeared alongside with the hand that was holding the paper, and Albus had to rub his eyes so that his vision sharpened again. His mouth had drawn into a bitter line and his eyebrows were furrowed.

What had he expected, an apology and professions of friendship and love?

At the last word to cross his mind he laughed at his stupidity. It turned out more of a shriek bereft of all the humor, he normally emanated.

His vision blurred again, but this time he didn't do anything about it.

He hummed a soft melody, a melody of a different time, an eternity laid between his present self and the young foolish Dumbledore and still he sat here crying like a schoolgirl rejected for the first time.

A smile crossed his face, as remembered the soft chirp of summer birds the faint wind and the scent of flowers, the feel of grass under his feet, while listening to Gellert non-stop talking.

What would have happened had Ariana not died? It was a question he had asked innumerously. He knew he would never find the answer und truth be told he was not sure if he wanted to know. A big part of him, that part that discounted the nagging voice telling him that everything would have been great, that Gellert would have stayed with him that there had to be a way he would have brought Gellert back to his senses, that they would have stayed friends for all their lives, was afraid of the answer, if he were ever to find one.

Gellert's flashing smile - He could still remember it. Of all the things that had made him believe, he could have spent a lifetime with him it had been Gellerts smile that had him helpless.

The first time the heavy accented voice had spoken to him- and called him a fool right away.

-Bittersweet memories –

Should he read on, after all it was a letter nothing more, and could not harm in more than Gellert

already had. After all it could only open the scars on his heart, for he was quite sure there was no way that it could deepen them, no for his he was far too old . He would not let this one man interfere with his life anymore.

His eyes lowered to the paper once.

'_Bereuen unsere Fehler (regret our mistakes)_

_hätten gern alles anders gemacht (would have wished to have done everything differently)_

_Hätten all unsere Boshaftigkeiten niemals getan (would have never done all our deeds out of spite)'_

_Yes Albus I'm quite sure that by now you have heard word, and heard that I regret all of it. The faces I see at night, mothers screaming for their children, fathers trying to protect their family. That is what I see each and every night. _

_I understand the way you chose, and I think it sad that you, out of us two, are the one who had to live with the feelings of guilt all those years, you who is by far the better man._

_It is true, if I could revise it, I would. I would do everything differently. _

_Wir leben versteckt, wischen all unsere Spuren weg (hidden we live, wiping away all our traces)_

_Vor den anderen und vor uns selbst (away from the others and ourselves to see)_

_Damit kein Mensch jemals sieht, wer wir in Wahrheit sind... _

_(so no-one ever will see, who we truly are)…'_

_I know you do live like that, you are afraid of you own shadow, aren't you?_

_I read the articles about you refusing the office of minister of magic. _

_And I know I'm the last person to tell you, but you don't have to. By deciding not to go with me and deciding to do the right you have chosen the right thing. And even if you chose this way out of the wrong reasons, you have made the right decision. And sometimes you learn from the right decisions afterwards, as you have. Do I make any sense? _

_To say it didn't impress me when you told me you would not go my way, would be an outright lie. And believe I knew about you're little infatuation, and I knew it hadn't stopped when you finally cut my way. _

Albus felt the heat rush into his face. He had known about it?


End file.
